DJ from the orphanage

I like bacon. A lot. Bacon is the meat candy of the food world. Bacon is compelling proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Few things are not made better by adding wonderful, crispy bacon to them. I once made bacon chocolate chip cookies, and the salty, sweet, gooey combination was life-changing. I want everyone to experience the joy that is this greasy aromatic gift from God, but some people just don’t appreciate it.

I have some vegan friends. I don’t understand why they don’t want joy in their lives, but hey, that’s their decision. Maybe they don’t feel worthy of bacon? Who can answer such odd mysteries as why people would give up this tasty joy? There are many decisions I don’t understand, but I do understand people have the right to make these types of decisions. I would never force people to eat bacon. I would never give people bacon knowing they would throw it away. It makes no sense to give bacon to vegans. It would offend the vegans, and it’s a horrible waste of bacon resources. Unfortunately, people in short-term missions do the equivalent thing every day.

I’m not actually talking about people getting on planes with loads of bacon to be given out to underprivileged people (not that this is a bad idea). I’m talking about serving people and giving things away to people, who have different priorities and goals than us without taking their opinions and desires into consideration. Just because something makes sense in our eyes, does not mean it’s important to others, or even wanted.

A few years ago, after a severe volcanic event in Guatemala, a very well-meaning celebrity stepped up and did something very cool. He bought a substantial tract of land, divided it up, and built five very nice houses for five families who had lost everything in the volcanic explosion. On almost every level, this was a cool event. The families graciously accepted this incredible generosity. There were a lot of tearful photo ops and articles written about it. What could go wrong?

Over the next ninety days, four of the five families sold their new houses, took the money, and headed back to the burned out shells of their old property to start over. The new houses were nice, and clean, and new, and they hated them. The new houses were a couple of miles from their old homes, and they missed the old neighborhood (even though it was mainly gone). The kids missed the old schools. The parents had a history in the old area; the old area was home. No one had asked the families what they really wanted; assumptions were made, time and money were wasted. Bacon had been given to vegans.

We had to learn the importance of considering the recipient the hard way in our own ministry. One of the ministries we run is building homes for needy families in our area. Years ago, we would build fairly humble “shelter housing.” One big, kind of unfinished room, and then give it to a family. The families were always thankful and gracious, but we noticed that within a few months they would either take down the house and use the wood to build what they really wanted, or they would abandon the house and move on. It took us a while to realize that we were doing it all wrong. We started working with the families, building alongside the families, and helping them construct what they really wanted. Today, we visit the families months and years later, and they have pride of ownership, they add on to the houses, remodel, and create a home, not just a shelter.

I speak with orphanage directors all the time who ask me how to educate their donors to do a better job. Most people bring piñatas, candy, and toys to an orphanage. I can guarantee, what any orphanage really needs is food, cleaning supplies, and other day-to-day supplies. The candy and toys make the donors feel good, there are some great photo ops, but most children in orphanages get plenty of candy. As I was writing this an orphanage director came by, he shared that he’s asking groups to bring food instead of Christmas gifts this year. The kids will still get something for Christmas but “The $20 toy will be broken in two days, $20 of food can feed the whole orphanage a meal.” He’s hoping his donors understand.

When giving to others, whether it’s an orphanage, food bank, needy family, or even people in your own life: consider the recipient. Is what you’re doing honestly about blessing others in a way that makes a difference, or is it about you feeling good? Are you assuming what is important to you, HAS to be important to those on the receiving end? In any relationship, communication is critical to understanding needs and expectations. We should all ask, listen, and seek to understand more about those around us.

Please stop giving bacon to vegans. Save the bacon for those of us who appreciate it.

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