“It’s Good Enough For Orphans.”

asia_children_joy_life_missions_myanmar_orphans_people-1174482-jpgd.jpegOver the years, I like to think I’ve become a patient man, my wife might disagree, but I still like to believe that I’ve mellowed. A few comments can still get me angry to the point that I reach for my blood pressure meds: “It’s good enough for Mexico,” or the more offensive “It’s good enough for an orphanage.” Or the similar thought process that’s the absolute most offensive: “It’s good enough for orphans.” There are times that behind my smiling facade, I want to punch someone.

There are a lot of definitions of “orphan” in the child care field: a child with no living relatives, a child that’s been abandoned, or a child that’s been removed from parents that are so abusive they’ve lost all parental rights. The common tragedy in all of this is a child who is alone in this world. Depending on who you talk to, and how the statistics are put together, there are around 150 million orphaned or abandoned children somewhere in the world. There is an astounding amount of need out there.

I only share these statistics to show the breadth and depth of the problem. It’s a broken world with a lot of messed up people, and there are a LOT of hurting kids out there. One of the problems is when you reduce orphans to a number it stops being a hurt, scared, child in need and becomes a figure on a spreadsheet or just another blog post. You can look at the big picture, but we as a church and individuals need to see the life of each individual child in need as a tragedy that needs to be addressed. Each abandoned child had his or her own story, needs, and horrible situations that have played out, and they are suffering because of it. They are not numbers in a system. They are precious children, created in God’s image, that society has failed to care for.

Most orphanages and foster care situations are fairly sad or outright horrible. There might be some great people involved, but they are frequently undertrained, underfunded, and under-appreciated. When people visit our home for the first time, the reaction is pretty predictable: “This place is great, it looks like Disneyland.” I’m not saying this to show how great we are; I’m saying this to show what low expectations people have of orphanages. So many orphanages are sad and depressing places that society has come to expect them to be bad. Sadly, society has also come to accept that an orphanage and foster care situation has to be less than it should be. We need to do better. We need a higher standard.

At our orphanage, we host a great number of short-term mission groups every year. We’ve seen the best and worst of teams. We can tell very quickly what the attitude of the group is, and how much thought went into their trip. There is one visiting group that has never donated funding, but we love to have them visit because of the way they love our kids. They perform dramas and run activities that draw our kids in, and shows them how important they are. You can tell this group wants to minister at a level that’s incredible, practiced, and worthy of our kids. We also have the groups that buy the ready-made craft from the back of a Sunday school supplies catalog and they just don’t care when they’re here. By their actions and attitudes, they are clearly saying: “It’s good enough for orphans.”

Once, I was speaking at a Rotary Club and during the “question and answer” time, I was asked by someone “How nice should an orphanage be?” You could tell by his tone that he thought our orphanage was a little too nice. I probably answered harsher than should have by replying: “Well, if you got hit and killed by a semi later today, how nice of a home would you like your children placed into?” By mentally placing our own kids into an orphanage, it brings into sharp focus the level of quality our work with orphans should have.

As Christians, whatever we do should be of the highest quality, especially orphan care. It’s not that we’re earning favor with God, it’s that we’re representing and serving our King. Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said, “Whatever you do to the least of these you do unto Me.” What are we offering our King?

Biblically it’s clear that the church, and individuals in the church, have a responsibility to care for orphans: James 1:27. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” We have this example and mandate. Some churches do a GREAT job of seeking out and caring for the lost. I’ve encountered churches that are known for their culture of orphan care, foster care, and adoption. I recently spoke at a church gathering where over half the people present had either adopted children or been adopted, by someone in the church. All churches should be known as “The ones who care for orphans.”

Nobody is perfect. No ministry or individual is always going to get it right every time. But whether it’s serving in our community, or during a mission trip, it needs to be done with quality. We need to look at how we care for orphans and widows. We need to ask ourselves if we are saying with our attitudes and actions: “It’s good enough for orphans.”

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Orphan Care is a Short-Term Gig

pexels-photo-167300When caring for children at risk, children who are abandoned or orphaned, it’s important to realize it’s just for a season. You need to know that, for many reasons, children you’re caring for are going to leave. We need to be ready for it, and we need to help them be ready for it.

Frequently children leave your care to go into questionable situations, and it will rip your heart out. Sometimes we initiate the change; usually it’s outside influences. Sometime they will head into great situations, some not so great. As people who are called to serve children, we need to realize the time we have with the children in our care is frequently shorter than it should be, and that time is precious. “Normal” parents have at least eighteen years to speak into a child’s life; we don’t have that luxury. The short time we have with these children will impact them the rest of their lives.

I have been in orphan care for almost 25 years. I still remember my first year, when the team here decided that we needed to kick a teen boy, Raul, out of the orphanage. Think about that for a minute: a child who’s already been abandoned, we were going to remove from what I thought we were building as the last refuge. This teen boy had become so rebellious, and such a danger to the other children and staff, that we needed to remove him from our home. We tried every form of discipline and professional counseling we could, but nothing broke through. His tearful pleading for “one last chance” as he was being taken away to a smaller, stricter orphanage will be burned into my memory forever. His departure tore me up for weeks.

About five years ago a 15-year-old girl, Maria, who had been in our care for several years was returned to her mother. We didn’t feel great about it, nor did Maria, but we didn’t have a say in the matter. All we could do was watch her leave and hope and pray that the social worker made the right decision.

Recently, two wonderful young girls were returned by our government social worker to their parents. We did not believe for a moment this was a good thing. For a number of reasons we did not feel this was the right decision, but the social workers had completed home visits and felt it was right to return these girls to their family. The girls had shared with us the horrible treatment they had received in their home and when the parents visited we could see it was just an unhealthy situation. It was VERY frustrating, and several of our staff were very upset, but you can only do what you can do.

It can be a long hard battle as we fight for what’s best for a child. Ask anyone who works in foster care about the frustrations experienced as children are moved around and often placed back with unstable or questionable family. Don’t get me wrong, when it’s a healthy situation I am 100% in favor of the family reunification. But frequently these are Solomon like decisions made by well-meaning but fallible people. When the decision is right it’s great; when the decision is wrong, it places children in harm’s way.

All we can do is plant the seeds, pray over our children, and hope for the best. Whether it’s our biological children that get married and move on when they become adults, or a temporary care situation and the child leaves us when they are much younger, their future is not in our control. All we can do is give them tools they will need to make healthy decisions. We need to show them how to handle the incredible challenges that life will place in their paths. They, like us, are in God’s hands.

About ten years after we “kicked Raul out,” he dropped by for a visit. We had lost track of him and assumed we would never see him again. But, the time he spent with us had a deep and positive impact on his life. He came back with his wife and two children to show them where he had spent several years and to introduce us. We had a long talk, and he shared that he now understands why he needed to be moved. He also now felt it was the best decision we could have made for his life. It was hard, but it was a wake-up call for him. It turned his life around, and he was now doing well with a family of his own.

A few weeks ago Maria got in contact with us, and we went out to lunch. We were right about her mom. Maria’s mother ignored her, never put her in school, and spent most of her time drinking and partying. After several months with mom Maria went with dad, who was no better. But, Maria remembered what she had been taught. She is now on her own, doing well, active in a church, and is planning her wedding. The seeds we planted took root.

There is a point to this rambling blog. What we do in child care, while we can, matters more than we know. Not all stories have happy endings. Most of the time we will never know about the lives of the children once they leave us. But when it works, the moments when we emotionally connect with a child, the time we spend listening to them, the examples we set changes lives. Use what little time you have as the precious gift it is.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” James 1:27

(Names were changed to protect the privacy of people mentioned here.)

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In Orphan Care, One Size Doesn’t Fit All

child-children-girl-happyWe’ve all received gifts that say “One-size-fits-all”; this really means “One size will fit some people and will be a poor fit for others, but that’s all we’re offering.” In orphan care, rarely does one-size-fits-all. Each child and situation is unique, and we need to be in a position to give the type of care that is the perfect fit for that individual child in need.

It seems as though society as a whole is more and more polarized. “It must be my way or nothing; you are wrong.” Try to get a Fox news fan to agree with a CNN fan, and you can see how people can NOT come to a compromise. The reality is, with many of life’s dilemmas, there are no black and white answers, sometimes the answers are found in the fuzzy middle. Many times life requires a much more nuanced approach.

Few things elicit a stronger opinion than what to do with the kids who are orphaned, abandoned, or need placement for other reasons. Everyone has an opinion on child rearing and how best to help a child. The prevailing theories shift back and forth from orphanage to group homes to foster care every few years, not unlike the “expert” opinions on whether eggs, butter, coffee, etc. are bad, then good, then bad, then good again. (I’m very happy eggs, butter, and red wine are currently “good” for us.)

Most reasonable people agree that no system of caring for children at risk is perfect. A child should be raised by two loving parents whenever possible. Unfortunately, we live in a VERY broken world, and way too many children wind up in horrific circumstances, needing care either short-term or long-term. To rule out ANY healthy option to care for a hurting child is a mistake. This is where “one size fits all” doesn’t work.

I once had a leader from a large, respected mega church inform me that their official church policy is to never work with or support orphanages. Their reasoning being that orphanages are terrible, that the ONLY good option for a child is adoption. They are not alone in their beliefs, the current prevailing opinion is that it’s better to move away from the orphanage system. I and many others do not agree. For some children, an orphanage is the best option.

For the right child, adoption should always be the first option if no healthy, loving family is in the picture. But many times, there are situations that make adoption difficult or impossible. If there are multiple siblings, very few couples are willing to take on three, or four, or more children. If the child has extreme special needs, the pool of adoptive parents is pretty small. If a parent or parents are still somewhere, but due to prison, substance abuse, or other reasons are out of the picture “temporarily,” the children are left in limbo. The reality of adoptions is that once a child hits about five years old the odds of adoption drop dramatically. The fact that international adoptions have reached a record low doesn’t help the situation. When you factor all these problems in, very few children in need of care can ever be adopted. The most recent statistics say that worldwide, a child in a care situation has a 2% chance of being adopted. Too many people work for years and spend thousands of dollars trying to adopt only to be denied or to have serious problems handling the child placed in their care. When adoption works, it’s fantastic, but it’s a long road and doesn’t always end well.

So, if there is no healthy family, and adoption is not an option, you are left with foster care or orphanages. There are a lot of great people working in the foster care system that truly have a heart for the children they are serving. Unfortunately, there are also many people involved for the wrong reasons, and everyone is working in a system that has many profound challenges. Too often, children are moved around more than they should be, creating a very difficult, unstable life. How would you react if you had to change homes, friends, schools, churches, etc. every six months or so? With the system the way it is in the US, although it was set up with the best of intentions, the statistics do not play out well. I’ve had many people involved in foster care vent to me about the lack of stability and the crushing bureaucracy involved. Foster care does not work well for most children. Every system is complicated.

Most people agree the orphanage system is broken, but, when done correctly, orphanages and group homes can be the best option. Just like foster care, there are some great people working in the orphanage systems worldwide, and some not so great. There are definitely orphanages that are horrible and should be shut down. There are also orphanages that are healthy, stable, and give the children a loving home with a great future. A well-run orphanage can provide a child or sibling group the stability, professional counseling, and love they need to heal and grow into healthy adults. We need a last resort when adoption or family care is not an option.

Everyone has a strong opinion. Everyone seems to have an agenda. About the only thing everyone agrees on is no system of caring for children at risk is perfect. We, as a society, have the right tools to help these children, but we need to use every tool in the box. We need to find the right size for each child. One size does not fit all.

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Social Media and Short-term Missions

twitter-facebook-together-exchange-of-information-147413In today’s culture, it’s obvious that social media is huge. Almost every one of us is on two, three, or more, social media platforms. Social media is an enormous part of society and our lives. It’s important to look at how we use our accounts, what our motivations are, and what’s the impact of sharing so many moments of our lives.

A good friend of mine is a social media animal: daily funny/sarcastic posts, posts about his extensive missions work, his life is VERY public. At one point we were driving together, and he mentioned something about the prison ministry that he was running. We’ve known each other for years, and we’re pretty transparent with each other, but I had no idea he had a prison ministry. It was NEVER on social media, and he never talked about it. When I asked him why he’d never shared about this, his response opened up a lengthy discussion. “The prison ministry is between me, God, and the people I minister to. No one else needs to know.” What a concept, doing something that doesn’t get broadcast to the world. I proposed to him that even the apostle Paul wrote about the work he was doing and that by sharing, it was an encouragement to others to serve also. But my friend held to his response: “This one area is between God and myself, that’s enough.”

What are our motivations when we share online? Pride and humility are fundamental issues in everyone’s on-going battle with sin. Why are we sharing so much with others? To build them up, or build ourselves up? How many of us have seen (or taken) that cliche photo of the open Bible on the table alongside a cup of coffee, with the caption sharing about our “quiet-time.” When I see this photo, I always get the feeling the person taking it spent more time setting up the photo than actually reading the bible. What are we saying with these edited, high-light versions of our lives? Is it really about God and others? Or are we trying to show everyone how spiritual we are?

Not everything about social media is bad. With long-term missionaries, social media has changed the whole dynamic of fundraising. The long (usually boring) quarterly “missionary support letter” has been replaced by Facebook and other social media tools. A missionary can now give real-time updates to supporters and let them know about the great work that is going on. Working in a developing country with no mail service, Facebook has made it so much easier to stay in touch with children we’ve raised over the years in our orphanage. When used correctly, social media can be a powerful tool. But any tool can be used for good, or for questionable purposes.

There is a lot of discussion in short-term mission circles about the use of social media by people on short-term trips. Does it help promote the ministries and causes, or just promote the people going on the trips? As a host, I’ve seen way too many people work hard to get the dramatic photo with a poor child, but show little heart or compassion for the child they were supposed to be serving. Sometimes a person will stage the perfect photo holding a brick, wheelbarrow, or paintbrush, only to wander off and let others work on the project. No one’s Facebook feed is completely honest, but if our primary goal is looking good online, we have a real problem. We are seeking to please man, and not God.

One other pitfall of posting so many short-term missions photos is that, if we’re not very careful, we can reduce the people we claim to be serving to nothing more than props for our photos. It can be profoundly demeaning. I doubt you would feel comfortable with someone coming to your home and taking random pictures to show others how impoverished you are, or how cool they were for visiting you.

The next time you’re heading out on a mission trip, please spend some time thinking through and discussing a “photo policy” for both yourself and your team. Maybe miss the perfect selfie but really talk to the people you’re there to serve. Think about leaving your camera behind and try getting to know the people on your team. Live in the moment. Take in the sights, smells, and feelings of what you’re doing, instead of documenting everything for later publication.

Humble service is a big deal to God. If our first reaction to serving others is to post it on social media, this says a great deal about the maturity of our servant’s heart. I confess, I like to post things online; there is nothing inherently wrong with social media unless we make it that way. Anything we’ve been given can be used to glorify God, or glorify something else. Choose wisely.

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Maybe You’re NOT Called into Missions

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God can use anyone. He wants to use us in ways we can only begin to imagine. God can, and does, use everyone who makes themselves available and open to His will. But, it needs to be in His will and His timing. We all have different giftings and talents; not everyone can do every job.

We host a lot of groups here at our ministry in Mexico, almost three hundred groups a year. For most people, short-term missions is a mountaintop experience, an experience that has a tangible impact on their lives. Frequently, when people are out of their comfort zone and the distractions of everyday life, God can and does speak to them in new ways. More often than not, IF a person has a call on their lives for full-time missions work, they will first hear that calling on a short-term trip. I’ve never met anyone in long-term missions, that didn’t start with a short-term mission trip. So, if you’re on a mission trip, and feel called long-term, what do you do?

Almost every group we host has one person who comes to my office and asks about staying long-term to partner with us. We love that people are open to the idea of long-term missions and a life of service. But, when people are on a short-term trip and immediately want to transfer it into a long-term commitment, we find this tends to be an emotional decision. God might be speaking to them, or it might just be them caught up in the emotions of the moment. How do you know the difference?

When someone approaches me on a trip about long-term missions, I always meet with them, try to encourage them, and give them all of the pertinent information. I also tell them to go away for about thirty days. If, after a month, they still feel called, then it might be real. I don’t want them deciding in the moment. To commit to a mission for six months, a year, or longer is a huge decision. If it’s not done in the right way, a person’s desire to serve can sometimes do more harm than good.

If you feel called into a long-term mission (6 months or longer) there are a few things you should do. Before anything else, go to the person in your life who REALLY knows you, and you see as a leader. This person might be your pastor, youth pastor, mentor, or some other person you trust completely. It needs to be a person who will be honest with you. The hope is that if your personality or skill sets are not ready for the missions field, they will speak the truth to you. If they think you do have the right motivation, skills, and calling, they can help you take the next steps.

If you feel called into missions, honestly ask yourself whether or not you have a humble servants heart. This will make all the difference. Everyone thinks they have a humble, servant attitude until they’re asked to serve. It can be very challenging to be self-aware in this area; this is another reason to seek wise counsel. Are you living a life of service now? If you’re not serving those in your church, your school, your work, your town, you won’t suddenly develop a servant’s heart once you cross the border. Just because you change location doesn’t mean your personality and priorities will change. In every way, your baggage travels with you.

Humble service is a big deal to God and essential in missions. As we go into the mission field, we need to represent Christ well and walk in His steps. If we look at the life of Jesus, He was all about service. Humble service. Very often, when He did great acts, He would instruct those around Him to tell no-one. Every action Jesus took was for the benefit of others, are you ready to walk in the same way?

You might be called into missions, even if it’s just for a season in your life. Please be open to that calling and seek competent counsel. If it’s right, and the calling is real, it will change your life in ways you can only imagine, and you will find a joy that few people experience. If you think you’re called into missions, and it’s from the wrong motivations or the timing is not right, you can do a great deal of damage. Please seek God, and make a mature, informed decision.

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Photo credit: Pat Rogers: Pat Rogers Studios

In an Orphanage, Leadership is Everything

pexels-photo-678637Why is it that when people cross the US border and go into the missions field, they think the common sense principles that work in the US suddenly don’t apply? If you have weak leadership in an organization, it won’t go well. The best of intentions, or spending more money, won’t help. Throwing money at a dysfunctional ministry in the US won’t make it better, so why do we think it will work in other countries? An organization needs good leadership to be healthy and effective in what they do.

Every week, some person or group comes to me and asks what it takes to open an orphanage. The first thing I do is try to talk them out of it; it’s harder and more complicated than they think. If they STILL want to open an orphanage I start to explain the three things it takes, in ascending order of difficulty:

1) It takes a safe, clean, functioning location. This is relatively easy; EVERYONE wants to put up a building. It’s easy, it’s long lasting, and you can see the project when completed. Once a project starts, it’s amazing how many people want to help.
2) It takes on-going funding. This is harder than number 1. It takes a lot more money to run an orphanage than most people think. Food, staff, medical, education, transportation, etc. add up quickly. Depending on where you are in the world, figure about $300 per child. If that sounds like a lot, you try to raise ten children on $3,000 a month for everything and see how hard it is.
3) The MOST important thing in running an orphanage is: Who is going to be the on-site director or leader. This is critical, and not everyone has the gifting or skill set to do this. Loving children is not enough.

Frequently, organizations who want to open a home tell me they have the first two items covered (location and funding). When I ask who will run it they respond with either “Oh, we’ll just hire someone”, or “We believe the right person will show up.”  If you were opening a church and needed a pastor would you “Just hire someone?” No, you would spend extensive time interviewing, meeting with, and praying over anyone interested. You would want the BEST person possible because the leader sets the tone and quality of everything that goes on. What type and quality of person would you want to raise your own children if something happened to you?

Organizations spend years and tremendous amounts of money finding and keeping the right CEO or president because they know the leader makes all the difference. Whether it’s a neighborhood diner or a huge corporation, the right leader will determine whether the organization thrives or dies off.

A few years ago I was asked to consult with an orphanage in Africa; it mainly involved visiting the home and helping to train their long-term American staff. After spending one day with the on-site leadership, I had a meeting with the people who brought me. I kind of offended them when I said: “No one I met today would make it through the first interview with an organization in the US, why are they running a home? They should not be here”. They were good people, but the completely wrong people to be running an orphanage. God can use anyone, just not in every position. Desire is not enough if the skill sets and the willingness to learn are not there.

If you run or are thinking of running an orphanage, please pray long and hard. Seek honest counsel from people who really know you. If you still want to move forward, please study all you can and spend time working with orphanages that do a great job. Learn all you can.

If you are looking for an orphanage to support or partner with, the most important thing you can ask yourself is: What is the quality of the leadership? Are they doing it for the right reasons? Do they show a high level of integrity? Do they have the skill sets needed to do a great job? If the orphanage leadership is weak, no amount of funding or short-term visits are going to help. An orphanage can not be run by a committee in another country any more than a church could be pastored by someone living in another state. Who is living with and raising the kids is everything.

If I come across as blunt or unforgiving, it’s only because orphan care needs to be great, and I’ve seen way too many homes that are not. This work matters greatly and should be done professionally and in the best way possible. The children who wind up in orphanages have already been dealt a lousy hand; we have a responsibility to help them heal in a safe, loving home. A home where they are lovingly guided through healing and into a healthy place. This can only be done in a home lead by people who are called to this work and have the skill sets to do it well.

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We All Need A Nest, Orphans Even More

pexels-photo-581087Human beings are pretty basic. Although we’re all individuals with different quirks and preferences, there are some basic needs that we all want to have met. Basic physical needs are obvious: food, water, shelter, etc. We all understand these needs, but then it gets a little more complicated. Especially for a child who has been orphaned or abandoned.

We all want our “nest,” our own stuff, our space. You’ve probably experienced this while traveling. You might be just a little nervous until you see your bag slide onto the luggage carousel at the airport. You feel a little better when you’ve dropped your stuff into your hotel room. Even if you’re camping or at a retreat center, you want to find and set up “your” bunk, then you can relax. When everything else is stripped away, a homeless person will defend their shopping cart or personal belongings. It’s a basic human need to have some sense of our own “stuff” to mark our space and existence.

When a child has been abandoned or removed from their home situation for some reason, in their mind their life is over. In a way it is. The life they’ve known is gone forever. Odds are they will never see their friends again, they will never be back in their old school, and will probably never see their old home again. This obviously doesn’t cover family that they might not ever see again. Even if they were removed from a horrible situation, it was their family; it was what they knew. How would you react if tomorrow EVERYTHING was removed from your life and you had to start over with just what you had on your back? Then try to do that when decisions are being made for and about you with no input from you. All control is gone.

Orphanage staff and foster parents usher children through the terror of that “first day” often. A while back we had a police cruiser pull up to our home, two officers and a child got out. The terrified ten-year-old boy was holding a small, kind of squished, plastic basket of strawberries. The short fat cop turned to me, kind of shrugged and said: “We didn’t know what to do. We got him a snack.” At least they tried.

We do a few things to make the first day a little better than it could be. We have systems in place where a child of the same age becomes a “mentor,” the new child’s first friend in our home who can show the new child around. This new friend explains how things work and what goes on. All this new information is received much better coming from another child, and not a scary adult.

One of the things we do that helps a child settle in is get them their “stuff.” They get their belongings to set up near their bed; they get to set up their nest. One of our staff goes to our stash and sets the child up with a few changes of nice clothes, some of their own toys, items to help them establish their space. We know full well we’ll need to speak into deeper areas of their lives over the following weeks, months, and years, but those first few hours are critical to the child settling in and realizing they’ve landed in a safe place.

It might seem odd that we focus on “stuff” so much, but it matters tremendously to a child (or anyone) in crisis. There are volumes written about caring for children in these situations. Every step of the journey to healing is important; the first day is just a small step in a very long path. The reason we focus so much on the clothing and toys is that it lets the child begin to create his or her own space again, it allows them to establish their identity.

The quality of clothing and belongings given to a child on their “first day” makes a statement. Too often, out of necessity or lack of thought, orphanages give the new child whatever used items that have been donated. We understand this, but it makes a strong statement: “You are not worth new stuff so you get what other people have gotten rid of.” Too often, a child who has been thrown away, a child who has been demonstrated to be trash, is given things that no one wants. What is that telling them? What kind of value does that place on their lives? Very often, the toys our children are given on the first day are the first new toys they’ve ever had. The items they are given will not restore them, will not heal them and will not bring their old homes back, but it helps give them a new sense of identity. It can show them that they are worthy. I’m not saying the child you’re helping needs high-end name brands, but whatever it is, it can show them that they are worth more than they realize.

While reading this, I’m sure some people are thinking “But stuff is just stuff, it’s not what’s most important!” I agree, it’s not what’s most important, but it’s a start. Anyone who says stuff doesn’t matter has never lost everything.

If you’re in orphan care, do what you can to bring a child’s first day from terrifying to passable. If you’re supporting an orphanage or people who do, please remember that the quality of items given matters more than you might think. Please show the children what they’re worth.

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