“It’s Good Enough For Orphans.”

asia_children_joy_life_missions_myanmar_orphans_people-1174482-jpgd.jpegOver the years, I like to think I’ve become a patient man, my wife might disagree, but I still like to believe that I’ve mellowed. A few comments can still get me angry to the point that I reach for my blood pressure meds: “It’s good enough for Mexico,” or the more offensive “It’s good enough for an orphanage.” Or the similar thought process that’s the absolute most offensive: “It’s good enough for orphans.” There are times that behind my smiling facade, I want to punch someone.

There are a lot of definitions of “orphan” in the child care field: a child with no living relatives, a child that’s been abandoned, or a child that’s been removed from parents that are so abusive they’ve lost all parental rights. The common tragedy in all of this is a child who is alone in this world. Depending on who you talk to, and how the statistics are put together, there are around 150 million orphaned or abandoned children somewhere in the world. There is an astounding amount of need out there.

I only share these statistics to show the breadth and depth of the problem. It’s a broken world with a lot of messed up people, and there are a LOT of hurting kids out there. One of the problems is when you reduce orphans to a number it stops being a hurt, scared, child in need and becomes a figure on a spreadsheet or just another blog post. You can look at the big picture, but we as a church and individuals need to see the life of each individual child in need as a tragedy that needs to be addressed. Each abandoned child had his or her own story, needs, and horrible situations that have played out, and they are suffering because of it. They are not numbers in a system. They are precious children, created in God’s image, that society has failed to care for.

Most orphanages and foster care situations are fairly sad or outright horrible. There might be some great people involved, but they are frequently undertrained, underfunded, and under-appreciated. When people visit our home for the first time, the reaction is pretty predictable: “This place is great, it looks like Disneyland.” I’m not saying this to show how great we are; I’m saying this to show what low expectations people have of orphanages. So many orphanages are sad and depressing places that society has come to expect them to be bad. Sadly, society has also come to accept that an orphanage and foster care situation has to be less than it should be. We need to do better. We need a higher standard.

At our orphanage, we host a great number of short-term mission groups every year. We’ve seen the best and worst of teams. We can tell very quickly what the attitude of the group is, and how much thought went into their trip. There is one visiting group that has never donated funding, but we love to have them visit because of the way they love our kids. They perform dramas and run activities that draw our kids in, and shows them how important they are. You can tell this group wants to minister at a level that’s incredible, practiced, and worthy of our kids. We also have the groups that buy the ready-made craft from the back of a Sunday school supplies catalog and they just don’t care when they’re here. By their actions and attitudes, they are clearly saying: “It’s good enough for orphans.”

Once, I was speaking at a Rotary Club and during the “question and answer” time, I was asked by someone “How nice should an orphanage be?” You could tell by his tone that he thought our orphanage was a little too nice. I probably answered harsher than should have by replying: “Well, if you got hit and killed by a semi later today, how nice of a home would you like your children placed into?” By mentally placing our own kids into an orphanage, it brings into sharp focus the level of quality our work with orphans should have.

As Christians, whatever we do should be of the highest quality, especially orphan care. It’s not that we’re earning favor with God, it’s that we’re representing and serving our King. Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said, “Whatever you do to the least of these you do unto Me.” What are we offering our King?

Biblically it’s clear that the church, and individuals in the church, have a responsibility to care for orphans: James 1:27. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” We have this example and mandate. Some churches do a GREAT job of seeking out and caring for the lost. I’ve encountered churches that are known for their culture of orphan care, foster care, and adoption. I recently spoke at a church gathering where over half the people present had either adopted children or been adopted, by someone in the church. All churches should be known as “The ones who care for orphans.”

Nobody is perfect. No ministry or individual is always going to get it right every time. But whether it’s serving in our community, or during a mission trip, it needs to be done with quality. We need to look at how we care for orphans and widows. We need to ask ourselves if we are saying with our attitudes and actions: “It’s good enough for orphans.”

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It’s OK To Be Ripped Off Now And Then

coloured-rugs-1636468A lot’s been written about the financial damage short-term missions can do to a community. Let’s look at it from a different angle. Americans love to spend money; we love to buy the blankets, jewelry, and trinkets to remember our journeys. Every youth group has that one kid who will buy the enormous sombrero. All this spending is a good thing. Sometimes the best thing you can do to help a community is let that “money spending” side of being American shine through.

The question of money in missions is a huge topic and comes up whenever short-term missions are discussed. “Short-term missions creates dependency!” “Don’t you know your project is taking jobs away from locals?” I understand the questions and concerns, but I also see the flip side of how short-term missions can positively impact the community from a financial standpoint. Our spending needs to support local business and local workers; this does not create dependency or steal jobs, this creates opportunity and jobs.

To have a positive financial impact, it’s important to not compartmentalize your missions trip. “OK, this is a rest day.” “We will be ministering on these days at this event.” “Today is a shopping day.” I hear these comments from groups all the time, and I understand it. We all like to have clean lines in our life, so we know what to do and when to do it. The problem is, ministry needs to be part of every moment of our lives, not something we schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We have opportunities to minister all the time if we open our eyes to it. I’ve seen groups set up great giveaways of clothing, shoes, or food in town and then be incredibly cheap or condescending in every other area of their trip. “Our ministry time was yesterday.”

The shopping day is one area that most mission teams seem to disconnect from the rest of the trip, but it can be the most impactful service we bring to the table. We need to remember that we represent Christ all the time. Most groups go on a trip to serve the local people and do a fine job during scheduled activities, but when it comes time to negotiate for that Mexican blanket, look out. It’s “take no prisoners” time. It’s normal to see Americans who travel be borderline abusive and really grind the local vendors for that extra dollar. Later they might have dinner out somewhere without thinking about the cost. Then, they’ll pull out a calculator to determined the minimum tip they can get away with.

The idea of saving money is a good thing, we have a responsibility to be good stewards. We also need to be looking at what we do with the money we save. The idea of a group negotiating for the best deal in every situation hit home one day here at our orphanage. We have a gift shop with t-shirts, blankets, and the usual stuff. We use the proceeds from the shop to help care for the children in our home. One day I had a leader from one of the groups come in and try to negotiate on the price of our t-shirts. Think that through. He was here to serve our home, spent hundreds on travel to get here, and then decided to grind us on the cost of a t-shirt in our store.

If we want to bless a community and share with others, spread some money around to people who are working hard and are trying to earn a living. That two dollars you saved negotiating on the blanket might have fed that seller’s family that evening. That five dollars that your group saved on the tip after your dinner might have bought school supplies for the children of your waiter. If your team of 15 people stops at a taco stand, you might be half the sales that day and help keep that stand open supporting a family. It’s good to open the wallet now and then. Christians should be known for being good tippers.

If your team does a hit-and-run into a town and passes out money randomly it can do some real damage. Passing out money makes for uncomfortable interactions, and leaves the families you’re serving feeling degraded. Yes, they can eat better today or maybe buy some needed medications but they will be broke again in a couple of days. I’m all for helping people in need in a community. Our ministry runs a food bank, we build homes for families, we help support a free clinic, etc. but we try to do it in a way that builds the families up and not in any way embarrasses them. When your mission team buys locally, uses local caterers, and uses local transportation, you are directly supporting families in the community and allowing them some dignity.

All healthy relationships are reciprocal. If a relationship is just one person giving to the other it might feel good for awhile but ultimately it will break down, and people will be hurt. By allowing people, when possible, to play a part in their own well being, it builds everyone up.

Go and build the houses, run the medical clinics, do a quality job in whatever you do. But along with focusing on your project, it’s OK to overpay for that blanket, maybe buy two or three; it might be your best act of service all week.

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Sometimes Ministry Doesn’t Suck

hospitalThe current trend in nonprofit fundraising is to “tell a story.” All of the articles tell you to put a face on your ministry by sharing one or more solid success stories. This is all well and good in that it helps people to understand the goals of whatever ministry is being promoted. But the reality is, for every glowing success story, there are many times when it just doesn’t work. You cannot save everyone. Sometimes ministry sucks.

Talk to anyone who runs a shelter for abused women. In spite of the best counseling and support, way too many abused women will decide to go back to their abusers. If you run a rehab center the reality is way too many people cycle in and out of programs for years before the grip of addiction is broken, many people never reach that point of healing. For those who work serving homeless individuals and families, it’s a shockingly rare situation that can move people out of the cycle of poverty and into secure housing, work, and a future.

If you pastor a church, you know how heartbreaking the work can be. You do your best for the members of your church, lovingly guiding, teaching, and encouraging them. But so often people choose to go an entirely different direction. Members of your church will fall victim to attacks, whether subtle or direct. People you considered solid Christians will fall away. Couples you thought were a great example will have affairs and/or divorces and lives are destroyed. People in your church will shock you in their ability to turn on each other.

As someone who has helped to run an orphanage for a very long time, I can tell you firsthand it can be incredibly painful and frustrating work. We can raise and care for a child for years, doing our best to pour into them and guide them into healing, but it doesn’t always work. Ultimately as a child moves through teenage years into adulthood, they make their own decisions. It tears us up when we watch young adults we’ve worked so hard with make decisions that will head them in the wrong direction.

So what’s the point of this rambling stream of negativity? Believe it or not, this is meant as an encouragement for those who are currently serving in ministry, and suffering through the pains and frustrations of failure. No, it doesn’t always work, but when it does, it can make all of the suffering and pain worthwhile.

Very recently a great young man who was raised in our home passed away much too young. Marcos was about 40 and passed after an extended illness surrounded by his wife, friends, my wife, and myself. Obviously, this was a painful event, and a great deal of mourning and healing is still taking place. In spite of the painful situation, the evening he passed away, in the midst of the emotional storm we were all going through, I found a moment of profound joy.

We knew Marcos’ time was short, and several people rushed to the hospital to visit and say their farewells. About an hour before the end, three different men showed up who were raised together with Marcos in our home. Although none of them are blood-related, they consider each other brothers and they’re some of my many children. All three have built their own lives, and have their own growing families, but in the midst of that trauma, I saw them in a whole new light. In a few moments, they went from being my children to being responsible men handling a difficult situation with astounding grace. Over the course of the evening, one made a point to comfort the new widow, giving her space and allowing her to grieve, but also making sure she had everything she needed. One went to work with the hospital sorting out the paperwork, the billing, and all the bureaucracy that goes on when a life ends. The third one brought a guiding hand and a calm voice to begin making funeral preparations. All three demonstrated a maturity that I had never noticed before. I’ve never been prouder.

Ministry doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does. Those men who stepped up in a hard situation are examples of how ministry can change lives. Not everyone who walks through your church, rehab, shelter, or orphanage will receive the help you want to give them, but some will. We can’t (and shouldn’t) force our will on anyone brought into our ministry, and many won’t want our help. But when it does work, and lives are changed, hang on to that. It’s why we do what we do. We also never know how the seeds we plant might take root and grow years down the road. Our job is to do the best we can, representing Christ well.

Jesus didn’t reach everyone. Many people rejected His message, His healing, His offer of help. But some accepted Him, that’s why He came and did what He did. He knew most people would reject Him, but His efforts were worth the few who made the right decisions. We are not Christ (far from it) but we are called to share of Him and carry out the work He has called us to do. The work we do is worth the few who can be reached. Keep it up.

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Missionaries Are Messed Up

summer-sunshine-alcohol-drinkI recently sent a small, short-term mission team to visit another ministry. This other ministry does some incredible work and is lead by a profoundly inspiring man. The group spent a full day experiencing the ministry, listening to the stories of what goes on and saw how God is moving. They were impressed and impacted. They were also surprised that the leader of the ministry was wearing a Call of Duty T-shirt. “Missionaries don’t play Call of Duty.” Mmmm, maybe a little…

I love the line “Missionaries are normal people who find themselves in extraordinary circumstances.” This is so accurate. Some people think missionaries are somehow more spiritual or together than most. We really aren’t. I hang-out with a LOT of missionaries and let me tell you, we have some issues. Below are a couple of examples that might surprise a few people.

We like to have a beer now and then. (three baptists just passed out reading this). I’m not saying missionaries sit around and get drunk, but a nice IPA between friends, when not out in public, is good now and then.

We use dark humor to cope. “Why is it always better to date and marry adult orphans? No in-laws.” We deal with some of the worst issues in society: abandoned children, sex trafficking, things most people do not want to think about. It’s common for people working in emergency rooms, people in law enforcement, or anyone who works in life and death every day to use dark humor. It’s weird and disturbing, but it does help people to survive and cope. (I can’t write some of the jokes here, fairly offensive, use your imagination)

We worry about money more than we should. About twenty-five years ago, when my wife and I started in missions, we had a company that was fully supporting us. It worked for about three years and then the company went bankrupt. Scared the cr-p out of me. I know, I’m supposed to trust 100% in God and talk about how He will provide, but when you have your one source of support suddenly end, it tends to “stretch your faith.” I do know God will provide (He has) but when you’re not sure where your next meal is coming from it can be complicated. Recently a group of missionaries were hanging out in my office, and someone asked “How much can I get for a kidney on the black market? (they were kidding, but somebody helpfully Googled it for them) Fundraising is a much bigger part of missions work than most people will tell you.

We watch/read/listen to the same stuff you do. A leader on our team uses his spare time to attend Comic-con every year and he loves superhero movies. I recently binge-watched Breaking Bad again. At any given time I would say the music my staff listens to is 50/50 Christian or secular. We have an informal staff meeting over coffee every morning, and you’d be amazed (or shocked) to be a fly on the wall. Sometimes after an exceptional odd meeting, I joke with my team “Other missions teams talk about favorite Bible verses or devotional themes, if people only knew about our conversations…”

I know of one ministry in our area that has a PERFECT social media presence; all photos of prayer and service and well-lit images of their leaders speaking in front of churches. They give a very polished, clean, holy presentation to everyone who visits their ministry. I kind of struggle with it. While doing some great work, I know them, and I know they have their share of flaws and fears. You would never know it by the way they present themselves. I think more people would join them in their work if they were a little more approachable, a little more transparent, a little more real.

George Müller was a Christian evangelist and the director of the Ashley Down orphanage in Bristol, England during the 1800s. He’s a missionary and orphan care hero and legend. Maybe I’m cynical, but along with the truly incredible work he did I have a feeling George had his bad days. He probably did worry about money now and then, got mad at his dog, felt like punching someone occasionally. That doesn’t diminish the great work that was done; it just makes him human.

The point of this is not to bash missionaries or shock anyone. The point I want to make very clear is that God uses regular people. I hear from people all the time that they’re not ready to serve; they’ll serve when they’re good enough, when they have enough support, when they’ve paid off their student loans. Here is some news: you’ll never be good enough, you’ll never have enough support, go anyway. If we’re waiting for the “perfect” time or circumstances to step out and serve God it will never happen. God does not use perfect people. God uses the broken. God uses the available. If we wait until we get our act together, we will be dead and in a box before we do anything.

Go serve someone; you’re more ready than you think you are.

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