Motivation

Stealth Heroes

djschuetze2 Comments

pexels-photo-339620I tend to come across a little cynical. I’ve been told that if I ever gave up sarcasm the only way I could communicate would be through interpretive dance. I’m a little more positive than I might seem. In the work I do, I do see the absolute worst in people. On the flip-side, I get to bump up against some truly outstanding and generous people. We could not care for our large family, and push forward in the work God has called us to do, without others. We’ve been privileged to see hundreds of incredibly generous, gifted, and creative people who faithfully show up to work alongside us.

The “bad guys” get the press, but in the midst of the worst situations, the first responders and “helpers” show up. For every mass shooter, there are hundreds of stories of “normal” people stepping up to help the wounded and care for survivors. For every horrific story of abuse, there are thousands of untold stories of normal people reaching out to make a difference in the lives of people in need. There is an old line in the news industry: “if it bleeds it leads.” The bloodier and worse the story is the better it sells. But, these stories make up a very small percentage of any community.

Over many years of managing our orphanage, we’ve been privileged to see the very best of humanity. Here are a few of those stories.

A couple we barely knew started to donate monthly after they had a tour of our home. Monthly donors are not that uncommon, but they were donating about $500 a month – this is substantially more than most people commit to. We were very grateful, I just assumed that they were people of “means,” and our orphanage was just one of many things they donated towards. We sent them thank you letters, they sent us checks, and that was the extent of the relationship. After a few years, they asked about stopping by to touch bases. While we were out to dinner their story slowly came into focus, I realized I had made some VERY wrong assumptions. One of them was a school teacher, and one was a substitute teacher. They lived in a humble house in Arizona; their rent was less than what they sent to us. They spent most of their time reading and studying languages. They lived a very simple life. They had decided to take what little they had and make a difference. The $500 a month they were sending us was not a random donation among many; they were actively living below their means to support orphans. The $500 they were sending was a sacrifice. They will never be written about (other than here), most people will never know of their giving, but every day they chose to give to something bigger than they are.

About 12 years ago Doug “retired” from being an electrician. I put retired in quotes for a reason. He’s still a full-time electrician it’s just that now his reward is very different. Years ago Doug started doing the electrical work for a small ministry in Baja, and it took over his life. He could be laying on a beach, maybe fishing somewhere. He could be taking up bridge or gardening. Nope. He pulls wire. He installs light fixtures. About twice a week he travels from his home in California to one of the several projects in Baja where he is the “electrical guy.” His current project is a very large, free medical clinic being built in a small town about one hour south of the border. Sometimes his wife comes along, many times she doesn’t, but Doug is faithful to do his part to serve the needy in Baja. There will never be a statue in his honor, his work will never make the news, but he is literally bringing light to the darkness. He brings light with both wire, and with his infectious and ever-present smile. He has found joy, and his calling, in service.

Sometimes, people just think outside the norm. We have a LOT of groups that do crafts, play soccer, maybe make a meal for our kids. I’ve seen more piñatas than anyone should see in a lifetime. There are tried and true ways to help. All these things are good, but sometimes a group really knocks one out of the park. We had one small church approach us about trying something different. They came in and took over a large multi-purpose room and turned it into a day-spa. They brought in artsy candles, calm music, comfortable chairs, wall hangings and curtains for privacy, etc. Now, you might be thinking: “Why does five-year-old Jose need a day spa? That’s just weird.” This group had a different vision, they knew what it was like to care for others full time, and they knew our staff needed a break. They came in with the goal of serving the caregivers in our home. They gave pedicures to our cooks who are on their feet all day and have been for years. They gave manicures to the ladies in the nursery who use their hands to change dozens of diapers every day. They gave back rubs to the “playground staff” who need to chase, pick-up, and care for crowds of toddlers every day. To be honest, our staff was a little uncomfortable at first. They were not used to being cared for in this way. Once our staff understood what was going on, it turned into a very special event. It’s not often you get to see the example of foot washing that Jesus gives us, played out in such a tangible way.

I could go on for many pages sharing about the incredible people that God uses in creative and unexpected ways. The point is, there are many more people doing phenomenal things, than the few who shock us with evil. In the midst of natural or man-made disasters, remember that everyday people representing the best of humanity are there also.

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So You Want to Open an Orphanage…

djschuetze9 Comments

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Do you feel called to open an orphanage? Trust me on this, lay down until the feeling goes away. If you still want to open an orphanage, continue reading.

I wish orphanages didn’t exist. The first choice for caring for abandoned children should be extended family. If extended family is not an option, then children at risk should be placed in healthy families. Unfortunately, placement with a family is just not an option for many children. Most orphanages are filled with children who, for one reason or another, are not adoptable or are very difficult to place. Orphanages care for children with multiple siblings, children with physical or mental challenges, children with an extended family that cannot care for them but still hold parental rights, etc. So if orphanages have to exist (and they do), they should be great, and run by people with vision and the skill sets to make them a fantastic place for children to heal and grow into healthy adults.

On a regular basis, people contact me who feel lead to open orphanages. My first question is always: “Who is going to run it?” Putting up buildings is easy(ish), on-going funding is harder, but living at, and running an orphanage can be hugely challenging and is not for the faint of heart.

Like pastoring, it’s very different once you’re in charge as opposed to watching from a comfortable distance. Running an orphanage is 24 hours a day, just like pastoring. Like pastoring a church, everyone who walks into your ministry will be second guessing all of your decisions and how you’re running things (and they know they can do it better). You not only get to care for kids and staff, you also need to keep government officials AND donors happy, all at the same time. Good luck with that.

On the long list of things that surprise most people is the amount of administration that has to go on. From the outside, people tend to think that the day-to-day parts of running an orphanage are about holding babies, craft projects, and building healing relationships with the children. All of these things go on, but they make up a remarkably small part of the day-to-day hours of running an orphanage. Actually, “child care” is an almost insignificant part of the job. Days are occupied with the mundane: grocery shopping, hosting guests, managing staff, answering emails, etc. Your days and weeks are filled with what it takes to keep the ministry open and moving forward.

Fundraising will take up much of your waking hours for the rest of your life. Just because you’re passionate about orphan care doesn’t mean anyone else cares. Everyone has different passions, callings, and challenges in their lives. Other people are called to serve and help in other ministries, that’s a good thing. That people have passions and interests that don’t connect with orphan care makes fundraising that much more of a challenge. Sharing the needs of your home, sharing the needs for orphan care in general, and sharing your passion is all part of the work. Share with the right people, get the word out, and God will connect the right people to support it.

Here is what they don’t teach you in “orphan school”: the struggles are real. Caring for orphans is very close to the heart of God. If you’re doing it right, the enemy doesn’t like it. You will never have a normal week again. Sick kids, staff issues, government issues, will be the norm. We figure about two significant attacks a year. Hepatitis outbreaks, wells going dry, we went through one season where EVERY couple on our staff went through a rough patch in their marriage. We’ve had children diagnosed with cancer, we’ve had children die. The spiritual attacks will be part of your life, get used to it. The good news is we’ve never gone through an attack God could not use to make the home stronger and cause us to grow. I can honestly look back and give thanks for all we’ve experienced. Don’t get me wrong, we dread the attacks and storms when we’re going through them, but we also know God is so much bigger.

Please know that this work will rip your heart out. And dance on it. And then bounce it around the room. We deal with the worst side of humanity. I could shock you with the profoundly horrific things that have been done to our children. You do not want this in your life. Then, once a child has been in your care for a long time, and they’ve begun to heal, you never know when a social worker will sweep in and say they are going back with family. Sometimes this is good; many times it’s not. Your emotional scars and callouses will build over time.

If this rambling article sounds like I am complaining, please do not interpret it that way. I just want people going into this work to do so with their eyes wide open. I’ve dedicated the bulk of my adult life to orphan care, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The work is challenging, the battles are real, and it can be emotionally and physically exhausting. That being said, I have zero regrets about walking away from my “normal” life running a business in Southern California. Although the challenges can be extreme, the rewards far outweigh any of the battles we’ve gone through.

The graduations where you see groups of your children graduate from high school or college makes it worth the sacrifice. When you’re able to walk so many of the young women you’ve raised down the aisle at their weddings, it’s worth it. When you see children you’ve raised, caring for their own families in a healthy loving fashion, it’s all worth it. If you’re indeed called to orphan care, surround yourself with people of similar vision, give it everything you have, and press forward. It’s a worthy calling and will be the most rewarding experience of your life.

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Service Muscle Memory

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Most people have heard of muscle memory. It’s our body’s way of learning repeated actions so deeply that we can react or move with little or no thought. A trained soccer player doesn’t have to analyze every kick. The player instinctively knows the optimal way to impact the ball and send it in the right direction. Bigger game strategies are worked out, but the instinctive reactions during a game flow from thousands of hours of dedicated, consistent practice. We do this every day with actions that we repeat over and over again: brushing our teeth, starting our car, etc. Whenever we drive somewhere daily and automatically take the same route without thinking about it, it’s muscle memory in action.

Studies show that to create a habit takes about 30 days. The longer we do anything consistently in our lives, the patterns build, and it’s easier to continue those patterns. If you’re quitting smoking the first few days can be gruesome, but eventually, after a few weeks, it becomes easier. If we’re starting an exercise program, those first few days can be hard, but if we keep at it for four weeks, six weeks, eight weeks it becomes ingrained and a regular part of our lives. That’s not saying that we won’t occasionally slip up, but the slip-ups become less frequent if we’re consistent with any habit over time.

So how does this apply to our spiritual walk? It’s important to evaluate our spiritual muscle memory. How do we immediately react to whatever situation comes up? When we suffer a loss in our life, do we react with anger? Or do we trust that God sees a bigger picture? When we feel we’ve been wronged by another person, do we lash out? Or do we forgive, seek to heal, and have grace for others? When we encounter someone in need, do we seek how to help? Or do we avoid eye contact and move on with our lives? Our first reaction to any situation is a good indication of our spiritual health and an example of our spiritual muscle memory in action.

We need to develop and train our spiritual, service muscle memory daily. Only with ongoing, faithful practice of healthy spiritual reactions will we grow in the perfect image of Christ. We need to embrace good service habits and allow them to grow into muscle memory.

One of the many attributes of Christ is service. Jesus spent the bulk of his time focused on those around Him. He spent His time healing, teaching, encouraging, feeding, blessing whenever He came into contact with others. During the last supper, the last night he had with the apostles, Jesus could have taught on anything. He chose foot washing, an example of service with profound symbolism at that time; it was the lowest servants who would perform this act for others. Jesus felt it was important to close out his training with the apostles by giving them this deep, powerful example of service. If we call ourselves a “follower of Christ,” and we are not actively, humbly, serving others in our day-to-day lives, we are hypocrites.

So how do we develop our service muscle memory? Practice, practice, practice. Service doesn’t have to be a huge, dramatic, sacrificial act. We are given thousands of opportunities every day to serve others if we keep our eyes open to them. A kind word to a stranger in a store, providing an open ear to somebody going through difficulties, just sending someone an encouraging message on Facebook, these are all acts of service. Jesus always had His eyes open to those hurting and in need around Him. Daily service to others should be our goal also.

A few years ago my wife and I were traveling on a missions trip to a very small, impoverished country in the middle of Africa. We landed in the tiny rundown airport and inside we faced an overwhelming crush of humanity. We had been warned beforehand to avoid “the people in the orange vests” who would try to grab our luggage to help us move it to the taxis to get tips. After collecting our team and luggage, I turned around, and my wife was gone. After what seemed like a long time, and me having a mild panic attack, I see my wife walking out of the restroom arm in arm with a frail teenage girl wearing an orange vest. My wife had gone to use the restroom and shared a kind word with this girl she noticed at the counter. This young girl needed those words, at that moment in her life. My wife’s service muscle memory kicked in, and she reached out to this girl in need. She didn’t cure cancer, she didn’t end world hunger, but she shared an example of Christ’s love to a scared teenage girl.

Who can you serve today? Go and practice that service muscle memory. Let your life follow in that perfect example of service we see in Jesus Christ.

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It’s OK to Say “No” to Someone in Need.

djschuetze3 Comments

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We live in a broken world. Unless you’re living in a cave, it’s impossible not to be aware of people all around us struggling with difficulties in life. We see suffering in the news from countries far away, we read about war and injustice in so many places. If we haven’t become too calloused, we see struggling people in our towns, in our churches, and maybe even in our own homes. It can be overwhelming. We almost have to maintain a certain level of denial, or we would curl up into a ball to give up hope. BUT, sometimes, with God’s guidance, we can maintain hope and make a difference in someone’s life. We CAN make a difference. Hang on to that. Seek God’s will with who you should help.

In my line of work, caring for orphaned and abandoned children, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the staggering numbers of children in need. Depending on how you define “orphan,” there are around 150 million orphaned or abandoned children worldwide. If the international numbers aren’t discouraging enough, even the numbers of a single city can be overwhelming. In Tijuana, the city closest to where I work, the figure that’s used is roughly 5,000 children living on the streets. You can’t save everyone, no one can.

Yesterday I was contacted about a single mom with four kids. She will likely die in the next few months from an ongoing battle with cancer. There is no extended family and dad abandoned the family long ago. Someone helping her reached out to us about taking her four children into our home. The details are still being worked out, and we’re doing what we can to help. The four siblings will probably wind up moving into our home at some point. It’s making the best of a heartbreaking situation. BUT, for every child we’re able to help, there are 60, 80, 100 children that we need to turn away. The team here has to make Solomon like decisions every day: Who do you help? And who do you turn away? You can’t save everyone.

Anyone working full-time (or even part-time) in a service focused ministry needs to make hard decisions every day. For every homeless individual you serve, there are 20 more people outside the door. For every family a food bank helps with a box of groceries, there are 30 more families needing assistance. For every child rescued, there are dozens more in danger on the streets.

If we try to help everyone in our sphere of influence, we might wind up helping no one. I work with orphanages from many different countries. I’ve found that just like people, orphanages tend to land into personality types. One type of orphanage that I understand, but dread walking into, is what I call the “crazy cat lady orphanage.” Occasionally an orphanage is run by someone who is so overwhelmed by the hurting children around them that they take in any child in need. That might sound very noble: “I never turn away a child in need,” but it sets up a horrible situation. If the home has space, resources, and staffing to do a good job for 30 children, it can be a beautiful thing. If that same home, with the same resources, grows to 50, 70, 90 children it can be horrible. Lack of food, hygiene, and general attention can make some orphanages a filthy, lice and rat infested nightmare. Last year, one home I visited staggered me, my first thought was “these children would be better off on the streets.” I really liked the director. I think her heart truly was to help the kids, but she was so overwhelmed she became ineffective in reaching her end goal. Where do we find the balance?

There’s a topic that most people don’t talk about. Jesus, in the three years that he minstered on this earth, didn’t help everyone. For every cripple he healed there were hundreds he didn’t. For every injustice he confronted there were dozens he walked past. For every person He taught, there were thousands that never heard Him speak. Jesus fed the 5,000, but there were many others that went hungry. No one would call Jesus a failure, He found a balance and did the will of his Father. That’s all He was required to do, that’s all any of us are called to do. Jesus spent a tremendous amount of time in prayer, He spent time alone, and then went and did what He was called to do. It’s a pretty good model, one more of us should follow.

Whether we realize it or not, we all make decisions every day about who we can help, and who we turn our back on. How many homeless people do we walk past on the way to Starbucks? Are there people in our church, school, or office that just need someone to listen to them? It’s ok to say “no” to someone in need IF our hearts are open and sensitive to serving those in need when we are called. We need to seek to understand God’s will. We need to be seeking His eyes and heart for the suffering around us, and the wisdom to represent Him well.

If you’ve become overwhelmed with the challenges and suffering around you, and don’t help others because you can’t save everyone, please step out and help just one person this week. It will matter greatly to them, and your life will be better for walking in the example of Jesus. If you’re the one overworking, killing yourself trying to save everyone, please have some grace for yourself and take a break. You can also walk in the example of Jesus: say “no” to someone, say yes to helping the ones God is calling you to help, and in all things: seek the Father’s will.

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